MarySue Gets What's Coming to Her
by The Phantom of the Library
Summary: MarianaSuetharica meets a tragic end. As an Elf, she is reborn but not reborn as she expects she will be.


I am merely doing this for my own amusement.

Disclaimer: I would not dare to presume that I own anything of this story, save for the original character, but I would sooner abandon her to be eaten by Shelob than even look at her.

* * *

_Mariana-Suetharica was a stunning Elf-maiden, the fairest to ever grace the lands of Middle-Earth, fairer than even the famed Luthien. Her hair was a shimmering wave of auburn that rippled down her back to nearly touch the floor, which it never did, as she always pinned it up with precision and beauty. Her eyes were a dazzling violet, and shining gold streaks ran through them. They glowed when she was angry or frightened, which she never was, for nothing could disturb this wonder of nature, save for dark memories of her totally angsty past._

_With out a doubt, most of her beauty had indeed come from her mother (although some of it had been surgically generated). Her mother was as beautiful as the day is long, that day most certainly being fairest Midsummer. She had been through the Seige of Gondolin, and was Gil-Galad's wife. Her father, however, was not Gil-Galad, but was in fact the famed Maglor. Maglor had met her mother while wandering in the woods. They had but one day together, when Maglor departed, doomed to wander forever. When he left, Mariana's mother was with child. She told Gil-Galad that the child was his, and he believed her, until he found out the truth after she died years later in a freak accident involving a cheese grater, a blade of grass, and a wooden spoon. Furious with the fact that Mariana was not his child, he cast her into the Wild to fend for herself, causing Mariana to have much cause for angst._

_In her time in the Wild, Mariana-Suetharica discovered that she had a secret power. She could control the Elements to her bidding. She would only have to make a vague gesture for winds to blow, rivers to flood, and fire to spring from nowhere. She also could call forth the True Image of stone, meaning she could bid rocks to spring apart to reveal a marvelous sculpture. Many ruins in the Wild were products of her trial-sculptures, and so the Argonath was formed._

_Over the years, she made her way into Mirkwood, and won the love of Legolas through her stunning beauty and frighteningly life-accurate sculptures. She created sculptures for him every day, until one fateful day…

* * *

_

Mariana-Suetharica and Legolas Greenleaf rested upon a balcony overlooking the splendor of a garden in Mirkwood that Mariana had created using her powers. It was filled with many flowers which were mostly pink, as pink was her favorite color. She was also trying to create flowers that had sparkles for pollen, but so far that attempt had failed.

Beside her, Legolas shifted uncomfortably. Mariana could sense that something was wrong, and felt that there had been something wrong from the very first day that she laid eyes on Legolas. There was an uneasiness there, which had grown into something incredibly obvious.

"What is wrong, my love?" she asked in a seductive voice, hoping to lure the uneasiness out and cast it away. "Surely you can tell me." She promiscuously flaunted her bosom at him.

Legolas stepped down off the balcony. She followed, hoping he was heading for the bed.

"It is nothing," he said softly. Mariana pressed her back against his chest. If she could have seen it, a look of disgust passed over his face, but was replaced with a pained smile. He put out a hand and stroked her hair, touching it as though it was something disgusting and slimy. "Your hair is so beautiful- it is so soft to the touch! And it shines like the morning sun."

"I daresay it's even softer and shinier than yours," she said, smiling. Everybody knew that Legolas loved his hair, but not as much as he loved Mariana.

Or so she thought.

"WHAT?" roared Legolas, pushing her away from him. She fell to the ground in shock. Legolas picked up his bow and an arrow. "How dare you insult my hair!"

"Legolas!" Mariana said gently, getting to her feet and smiling sweetly. "Darling, it's me!"

Legolas said nothing, but nocked the arrow.

Slightly concerned, she began to back towards the balcony. Legolas followed her menacingly.

"Legolas, I-" but Mariana-Suetharica never finished her sentence. She trod on the hem of her beautiful, perfect dress and fell backwards over the edge of the rail. When she landed head-first in the garden, her slender neck snapped like a twig.

Standing on the balcony, Legolas looked down at the garden long enough for all of the flowers to disappear, and then hastily leapt backwards as the balcony disappeared and the doorway outside vanished. He gave a grateful sigh.

"She was one of the worst Sues I have ever encountered," he muttered, replacing his bow and arrow to their correct places. "Balconies, sculptures, gardens in Mirkwood, oh! She makes me want to scrub my skin off! I'm so glad I didn't waste any arrows on her. She certainly took long enough to give me an excuse to kill her." Legolas sat on the edge of his bed and smiled grimly as the muffled sounds of the Mirkwood spiders clicking their pincers in excitement and dragging away a corpse were heard.

* * *

Mariana-Suetharica felt light-headed. She opened her eyes to see a golden glow all around her. She paused to think, something she rarely did. After five minutes hard work, she came to a conclusion. 

"Hey- Legolas killed me! He actually killed me!"

"And with good reason," a melodic voice said. A tall figure stepped forward into the glow. She was wearing a long robe stitched with many scenes from history, and was very tall and fair. "Greetings," the figure said. "My name is Vairë the Weaver, although I doubt you have ever heard of me, uneducated as most of you creatures are."

"No, I have not heard of you. I don't think you even exist," Mariana said, slightly jealous of Vairë's clothing.

"On the contrary. I exist. You, my repulsive, canon-twisting creature, do not. Or should not- we have yet to find an ideal way of keeping you creatures out of here. You've never heard of me, yet you say your mother was married to Gil-Galad and was in the Siege of Gondolin, and that your father was Maglor. I am willing to bet you don't know your mother's name, where Gondolin was, and the history of your so-called 'father'."

"I do so know about all of that! My mother's name was… uh, well, that's not important. Gondolin, well, um… Maglor…"

Vairë smirked. "Your creator most likely chose those names because she thought they sounded nice and shiny. You have no business in Arda!"

"Arda? Where's that?"

Vairë put her hand to her face, covering her eyes, and sighed.

A look of confusion crossed Mariana's fair face as she noticed something, a once-in-an-age occurrence. "I'm an Elf, right? If I'm an Elf and I'm dead, aren't I supposed to be reborn, or something?"

"Oh, you are to be reborn." Vairë stepped aside, revealing a table with a mirror set upright on it. "Look into the mirror, and you will see what you are to become."

Mariana eagerly leapt to her feet. "Oh, I shall be the most beautiful of all! I am tired of my hair color- My hair shall be a bright, fiery red, and my eyes shall be a vibrant green! I shall have beautiful, milky skin! I-" She stopped short, staring at the mirror in horror, and then laughed. "That's a funny joke! Ha!"

"I assure you, this is no joke. Although," the Vala said with a sadistic smile, "it will be one of the most entertaining things that the Valar have seen for many a millennia."

Mariana looked at Vairë, her eyes burning with a furious rage. "No! It's not possible! I won't let it happen!"

Vairë merely began to laugh. She stepped backwards and vanished, taking the mirror with her, although her laughter still echoed in Mariana's ears. The golden glow began to dissolve, and she found that she was standing on solid ground in a rocky clearing in the foothill of a mountain. Her clothes became heavy, there was a dreadful weight upon her head, and she felt an odd tickling on her face. She lifted a hand to her face and touched hair. She had a long flowing beard. Her mouth formed an O of terror and disgust.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Nearby animals' ears pricked as they heard the cry. The smarter ones fled, while some stupid ones investigated. They were disappointed, as all they found was a female dwarf, crying hysterically and trying to brain herself with a rock, her attempts unsuccessful as they were blocked by the thick metal helmet she apparently didn't know she had on.


End file.
